What a lovely night I had! First, Jordan and I were invited to my bosses' house for dinner with them and their 6 adorable children, followed by the seven year old's soccer game. It was quite enjoyable. We then had to go back to Jordan's parent's house to pick up his car. He introduced me to his dog and we played a little basketball in the driveway. His family was gone so I didn't think much of it until I noticed him delaying and looking at every car that drove by. He was clearly waiting for his family. I didn't say anything and laughed to myself. I decided that I could do it for him; I could overcome fears and stop avoiding meeting his family.
It's amazing how someone so outgoing as me could be so nervous and so scared to meet such nice people. It was an interesting experience for me. I may be a pretty insecure person but there's not a person who meets me who would ever get that impression. However, meeting Jordan's family apparently humbled me quite a bit :)
Jordan is amazing...that's all I have to say. I told him last night about all my fears and how not having a family to love and support me weighs on me more than ever lately. I feel like it's been shoved in my face a lot this past week but not intentionally by anyone, of course. Jordan has an amazing family, my friends have parents, the girl who cut my hair was telling me that her parents helped her pay for everything this semester because she made a mistake and didn't save money...I don't have any of this and sometimes it's hard. I don't need parents for the physical needs..I need to be loved, I need advice, I need to be cared for...I need a family.
Anyway..back to why I am grateful... As I was talking to Jordan about this last night, he asked me what I would write about in my blog if I was to write it that moment. I understood this question as a reminder to be grateful and a reminder to recognize all the wonderful ways that the Lord has compensated this void in my life. He sure has given me some wonderful people to love and to love me. For this, I am so grateful. I may not have a mom to love me and give me advice or a dad to protect me and love me for who I am but I have amazing bosses who tell me how it is and look out for me. Moms of friends who love me like their own and take off from work just to take care of me after surgeries. A mission president and his wife who are always there for me. I have friends who are there for me and give me the opportunity to learn and grow in relationships. I have a ward family and a bishop who loves me. A past Bishop and his wife who mean the world to me and who would do anything for me. I am blessed with an amazing boyfriend who invites me to be my best self and loves me for me. A dog who will always be my true eternal companion ;) And many, many, MANY more people in my life who love me and who I am blessed to love.
I may not always make the best decisions in relationships as I feel like I am still learning to develop them as I would have learned had I grown up in a loving family--with a mom who was there--with a dad who cared...but I feel so blessed to have so many amazing friends and people in my life to help me along this journey. I may not have a traditional family but I have more people in my life than I bet most do and for this I am grateful! Thank you Jordan for helping me remember this ;)
More than anything and most importantly, I have the love and protection of my Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ. Christ suffered for all pain I have, do and will ever feel. He knows what I am feeling and I know that because of His Atoning sacrifice, I will get through this and I will be better for it. I am so grateful for that knowledge! I was really sick and a friend put a picture of Christ above my head to look at. Over those couple days, my testimony of the Atonement grew and grew as I came to realize that He did not just die for my sins. He suffered for every pain, sickness, disappointment, sadness, hurt, confusion and illness I will ever experience. I learned that we will all have pains and sicknesses of many kinds but that we can truly be happy and serve others as we go through them because we know that better days are to come. Blessings are to come! How grateful am I for this knowledge and for a boyfriend who chooses to bear his testimony to me of this truth during my hard times. I am blessed and I love you all!
Jordan is amazing...that's all I have to say. I told him last night about all my fears and how not having a family to love and support me weighs on me more than ever lately. I feel like it's been shoved in my face a lot this past week but not intentionally by anyone, of course. Jordan has an amazing family, my friends have parents, the girl who cut my hair was telling me that her parents helped her pay for everything this semester because she made a mistake and didn't save money...I don't have any of this and sometimes it's hard. I don't need parents for the physical needs..I need to be loved, I need advice, I need to be cared for...I need a family.
Anyway..back to why I am grateful... As I was talking to Jordan about this last night, he asked me what I would write about in my blog if I was to write it that moment. I understood this question as a reminder to be grateful and a reminder to recognize all the wonderful ways that the Lord has compensated this void in my life. He sure has given me some wonderful people to love and to love me. For this, I am so grateful. I may not have a mom to love me and give me advice or a dad to protect me and love me for who I am but I have amazing bosses who tell me how it is and look out for me. Moms of friends who love me like their own and take off from work just to take care of me after surgeries. A mission president and his wife who are always there for me. I have friends who are there for me and give me the opportunity to learn and grow in relationships. I have a ward family and a bishop who loves me. A past Bishop and his wife who mean the world to me and who would do anything for me. I am blessed with an amazing boyfriend who invites me to be my best self and loves me for me. A dog who will always be my true eternal companion ;) And many, many, MANY more people in my life who love me and who I am blessed to love.
I may not always make the best decisions in relationships as I feel like I am still learning to develop them as I would have learned had I grown up in a loving family--with a mom who was there--with a dad who cared...but I feel so blessed to have so many amazing friends and people in my life to help me along this journey. I may not have a traditional family but I have more people in my life than I bet most do and for this I am grateful! Thank you Jordan for helping me remember this ;)
More than anything and most importantly, I have the love and protection of my Heavenly Father and His son, Jesus Christ. Christ suffered for all pain I have, do and will ever feel. He knows what I am feeling and I know that because of His Atoning sacrifice, I will get through this and I will be better for it. I am so grateful for that knowledge! I was really sick and a friend put a picture of Christ above my head to look at. Over those couple days, my testimony of the Atonement grew and grew as I came to realize that He did not just die for my sins. He suffered for every pain, sickness, disappointment, sadness, hurt, confusion and illness I will ever experience. I learned that we will all have pains and sicknesses of many kinds but that we can truly be happy and serve others as we go through them because we know that better days are to come. Blessings are to come! How grateful am I for this knowledge and for a boyfriend who chooses to bear his testimony to me of this truth during my hard times. I am blessed and I love you all!
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